Marriage is about trust. This is the core tenet on which all marriages are built. And it can be extremely disturbing when one person keeps breaking their end of the promise. If your spouse keeps lying to you it can be extremely disturbing. Can you believe anything that they say? More importantly, lying leads to so many doubts. The most troubling one being the question ‘why?'. And this can easily take you down a path you don't want to travel. Therefore, it is best to sort things out before they get out of hand. Now, how do you go about doing that? You start by understanding what are the reasons that make your husband behave this way.
To help you with that, here are 8 possible reasons why your husband lies to you about everything.
1. He's afraid of your reaction to the truth
A lot of people lie because they want to avoid dealing with the reaction that truth will incur. This means that they are probably hiding some big issues. there is another side to this which involves you. It might be possible that you don't react well to certain situations. It could be that you worry too much or are sensitive to some things. Your reaction might make him not want to tell you the whole truth. If this is the case then you need to sit down with your partner and ask them what makes them uncomfortable. If you work towards that things will definitely improve.
2. He's trying to avoid confrontation
The things that he is trying to hide may be those which will lead to a big fight. Not all people are fine with confrontation. It can be because they have a low tolerance for the anxiety that comes with it. Or that they don't want to ruin the relationship with fights and anger. Or they just don't want the headache that comes with it. Whatever be the case, people who don't like confrontation will avoid getting into such situations at all costs. This is a problem that you need to tackle head-on.
3. Why do husbands lie about money?
It often happens that spouses hide financial matters from their significant others. They might lie about their purchases, the income, or something else related to money. But what motivates this kind of behavior? The first reason could be to exercise control. By telling your spouse that you earn less than you do, you can control their expenditure. However, some people tell more than they earn and that leads to future financial trouble. Others want to have the financial freedom that they don't want to share with their spouse. For example, they might buy expensive things that will affect the budget. Another reason why this might be happening is that your husband is trying to hide a financial crisis from you. This usually happens when they have screwed up really badly or they don't want you to worry about things. Either way, knowing what's happening with the money is important.
4. He hasn't kept the promises he made to you
Many times, our spouses promise us things which they don't have the will or desire to follow through. For example, your husband might promise that he will quit smoking. Or that he won't hang out with those friends that you know are not good for him. Spouses make promises to act according to your wishes just to get you off their back. Or they might mean it when they make these promises. However, in the long run, they can't stay true to their word. And to hide their inability to keep the promise, they will lie. And you know how it goes. One lie leads to the other and soon you end up with a mountain.
5. He does not respect you enough to tell you the truth
Many people don't realize this but truth is also about respect. If you truly respect someone, you will never lie to them. there are two reasons for this. First, you don't want to keep them in the dark and lose the trust that they have in you. And second, you don't want to disrespect their intelligence by fooling them with your lies. Many of us, don't think about this much. But along with personal values, these motivations also dictate us to keep from lying. Therefore, if your husband hides things from you, it could mean that he doesn't really respect you. You will see signs of his lack of respect for you in other facets of your marriage too.
6. Your husband might want to end the marriage
This is the one reason that we are all scared of. Sadly, this is also the first thing that comes to mind when we catch our spouse in a lie. Extramarital affairs are a leading cause of lying in marriages. If your husband is cheating on you, he will surely have a lot of things to hide. And the lies will be frequent and numerous. Even if it isn't a cheating issue if your marriage is nearing its end the lying will increase. He doesn't want to answer your inquiries anymore because he doesn't feel like its any of your business. He's unhappy and that will show in other aspects of your life together.
7. Why does my husband lie to me about drinking?
Addiction is hard. Both on the addict and their families. A lot of times, the person trying to get over an addiction finds it very hard to do so. The disappointment that comes with not being able to do better and having let you down might drive them to lie to you. In such cases, you must get professional help with their alcoholism or drug addiction. However, we all have spouses who just don't want to change. You have probably tried everything that you could. You have exhausted all the options that you have and yet, your spouse has not stopped his habits. This happens because they know that you will object for a bit and then, things will get back to normal. They can apologize and go about the routine over and over again. This is where the buck needs to stop. You need to give your husband an ultimatum. If they can't promise to work seriously on getting better then you will have no choice but to leave. However, make such threats only if you are prepared to follow through.
8. He might be a pathological liar
Finally, this is the one issue in which neither you, not your spouse, hold any power. Pathological lying, or mythomania and pseudologia fantastica, is the chronic behavior of compulsive or habitual lying. If your husband lies to you for no reason at all. Or if he lies about even the things that don't need to be lied about, he might be struggling with something else altogether. Pathological liars cannot help themselves as they have a compulsive need to lie. It's not that they intend to behave this way. Instead, they just can't stop themselves from engaging in that kind of behavior. Therefore, it is important to seek professional help to tackle this issue.