10 Unmistakable Signs Your Husband Loves His Mistress
Being cheated on is one of the worst things that can happen to a woman. Especially if the man you married is finding love elsewhere. However, different women have different ways of responding to the infidelity of their husbands. While some leave, others decide to stick and work on their marriage. If you feel that your marriage can still be saved, you might want to seek ways to make things work again. However, it is also important to figure out if he has feelings for his mistress. Because in that case, it might not be easy to save your marriage. How to know if your husband is in love with his mistress?
To help you understand where he stands, here are 10 clear and obvious signs your husband loves his mistress!
1. You have found him talking to her a lot
How do you know if a married man really loves his mistress? If he still talks to his mistress, even after getting caught. It is one thing for him to stay in touch with her if he thinks you don't know. But if he continues to talk to her, on the phone, text or emails, that is a concern. It means that he doesn't want his relationship with his mistress to end. If you ask him to show his chats to you, he will get defensive. More importantly, catching him in the act of talking to her even once should be a red flag for you.
2. He misses special occasions to be with her
It isn't unheard of for a married person to stray. But those who truly love their family always come back. If you ask, “How do I know if my husband loves another woman?”, you check his priorities. Does he skip important family events to be with her? Has he lied about work to skip an important birthday party or festive celebration? Even if he does attend, he will be there only to make his presence known. Once everyone has seen him, he will skip town. Even when he's there his mind will be somewhere else. Your husband misses his mistress more than his family.
3. He works on how he looks, but you know it is not for you
The biggest indicator of cheating husbands is an unexplained improvement in appearance. It is no surprise if a man feels that he has let go too much. If your husband has been motivated by his better-looking colleagues to lose some weight, that's great. But if you can't see any reason for why he has started to focus too much on his appearance, it might be a red flag, He might be trying to look better for you, but can you see that? Does he take you out more? Hang out with your friends more? Does he take your advice on how he looks? If the answer is no to all these questions, your husband might be doing all this for his mistress.
4. He buys her really expensive gifts
Looking good is just one way to keep his mistress interested. He wants to ensure that she stays with him. And he can go to any length for that. this includes buying her really expensive gifts as well. Of course, a big reason for spending all this money is to keep the mistress happy. Another thing that it shows is that he cares about her more than his family. He would take the money that can help his family and put them at risk, just to keep her happy.
5. He will lie to you about seeing her
When you confront him about his whereabouts, he will lie to you. You will find many of his locations that cannot be explained. He will promise you that he will never see her again but then end up at her place. Or with her on a trip out of town. This only goes on to show that he cannot let go of her. Even if it is at the cost of losing his family.
6. There is no effort at his end to make amends with you
Any time someone gets caught; their immediate response is to deny the charge. If the evidence is extremely incriminating, they would make promises of never doing it again. He might stick to it for some time. Promise you things like working on the marriage, not speaking to his mistress ever again and the like. but his commitment to these promises will falter soon enough. He wouldn't try to make the marriage work. You will realize that you are the only one putting in the effort. There will be no remorse in his either and he will start falling back into the same old patterns.
7. He has moved in with her
If your husband has left you to move in with his mistress, he might not be coming back. Any man who has even an inkling of love left for his family will never take such a step. Sure, in The Marvelous Mrs Maisel, Joel Maisel eventually comes back to his wife and family. But that's because his life with his mistress falls apart. He doesn't choose his wife over his mistress. He comes back to his wife because he realizes how shitty his life had become. Would you want a man like that in your life?
8. He has introduced his mistress to the kids
If he has moved in with her, it means things are serious. You know that his convictions are strong if he has introduced his mistress to the kids as well. He wants them to get to know her because she will become a part of their life soon. This is definitely a big step for his relationship with his mistress. If he is becoming open about her then that shows how committed he is to this woman. Chances are that he has introduced her to his friends too. That is just as bad as meeting the kids. Going public in any form is bad.
9. He refuses to listen to your pleas
You have tried as hard as you could to beg him not to ruin the marriage. You have tried couples counseling. Have tried to make him see what he is destroying. Reminded him of the good time. But all your please fall on deaf ears. This reminds me of all the scenes from season 4 of The Crown when Lady Diana confronts Prince Charles about his affair with Camilla Parker-Bowles. No matter what she does or what she says, he just doesn't end things with Camilla. To the extent that he stops taking her calls or even listening to her side. Season 4 of The Crown has all the signs that you need to know to figure out if your husband is in love with his mistress.
10. He is adamant to get a divorce
The final nail in the coffin is when he asks for a divorce. It isn't an easy decision to end a marriage. So, if he has gone so far as to ask her for a divorce, there is no turning back. Sure, he might say it once and then reconsider. Or he is just hinting at things because he isn't sure whether that is something that he wants to do. But if he insists on getting a divorce then things might be out of your hands now. No matter what it feels like right now, you don't need this man. Something or someone better is waiting for you.
Writer & Relationship Expert
An avid reader and a romance writer, Sherry aims at empowering women to be stronger and happier in their relationships. In her novels, she tries to capture the essence of what it means to be a woman.
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