10 Ways to Stop Being Taken for Granted in a Relationship
Nobody wants to be undervalued and taken for granted in their relationship or marriage. Being ignored or pushed away can cause deep feelings of frustration, animosity and lower your self-confidence.
How can you get your power back in the relationship?
How to tell your partner that you feel unappreciated? How do you get your man, husband or boyfriend to realize your worth? How do you test him to see if he cares? Ultimately, how to stop being taken for granted in a relationship?
Here are 10 ways to help you make your partner realize your importance and care for you!
1. Draw your boundaries
All relationships require respect and understanding to flourish. If you have been putting in too much effort, chances are your partner doesn't even realize the sacrifices you make to make things work. It's important that you clarify your expectations from your partner so that he can mold himself accordingly early on. When your partner fails to take note of the imaginary limits you set, he is unaware and not to be blamed. So, it's best that you state your likes and dislikes explicitly and avoid resentment.
2. Never lose your sense of purpose
Losing sight of who you are is the most terrible thing you could do for your self-growth. You are an individual entity even though you are responsible in your partnership and have commitments to fulfill. If your dreams and hopes are put to the back-burner while your partner becomes the center of your universe, the end picture is not as rosy as it seems in reality. He is much more likely to be thrilled in the company of a woman who is driven and motivated to carve her niche than someone who is clingy and displays no independence.
3. Reinvent yourself
Getting into a committed relationship can make you complacent about your appearance or your overall image. In fact when you take your partner for granted, expect the same feeling reciprocated. He may be only mirroring what you reflect to him. Organize your life and enhance your appeal. You don't need to do something dramatic or crazy to hold his attention but it's important to focus on how the world perceives you at least outwardly as this has a major impact on how physically drawn your partner feels towards you.
4. Avoid revealing too much about yourself
Mystery keeps alive the chase in the relationship. If your partner knows everything about you, it only kills his primal instinct to go for the hunt of something that's unknown or undiscovered. It's okay to reveal yourself slowly to your partner as long as you don't have secrets that could destroy the fabric of your relationship. Maintaining transparency is vital but being open to change will prevent boredom from settling into the relationship. Spontaneity is the key to keeping the freshness intact.
5. Never be the only one making compromises
Often women are expected to make far greater compromises because of the gender roles constructed by the society. Relationships can't practically be a fifty-fifty deal but you could try and maintain some equality in sharing responsibilities. Let go of your fear and take a backseat sometimes so that he realizes your involvement and the efforts that you make. Take a break and ask them to switch roles with you so that they learn to express their gratefulness.
6. Let them make the first move
If you are always the one initiating conversations, plans or even physical intimacy, it's time to give that routine a break. While you don't need to put them through tests to prove their worthiness, your relationship may be one-sided if they overlook your efforts or turn a blind eye to your feelings. If your partner still remains aloof or ignores your needs, it's a red flag that you should take note of.
7. Spend time with your friends
We are all guilty of taking our friends and family for granted when our relationship takes precedence over everything else. If you have been cancelling plans last minute with your friends to accommodate your partner's schedule or last-minute plans, you placed him on a pedestal and disregarded the emotions of those who are your well-wishers. Leave some space for him to miss you. Let him know that you are entitled to make independent choices and he should be in a position to make adjustments if required.
8. Let them handle things independently
Your partner may be suffering from a sense of entitlement. He has learnt to depend on you pretending like you are meant to do what you do. He fails to appreciate your value in his life. You don't need to aggressively approach them and demand respect but he could be used to you and expects you to conform to his whims and fancies.
9. Communicate your feelings politely
Your efforts will be spoiled if you are rude and unkind. You don't need to be a pleaser again but it always reflects your grace when you are polite and graceful in your communication. You can give them an ultimatum when he fails to accept his mistakes and apologize or make changes in his behavior. Being a submissive doormat for your partner or boyfriend does not display your selflessness or unconditional love but only your inability to respect your own self-worth.
10. Make time for self-reflection
It often helps when you pen down your thoughts about how you feel about the relationship. Does your relationship make you feel valued? Does your partner make you feel special? Do you feel happy and supported? These are some important questions that you should ask yourself to assess if your partner's presence makes any difference to your life. Or are you good leading a life of single-hood? You can make an informed decision if your have your thoughts gathered before you confront your partner and work things out.
I have spent over 15 years helping men and women find their soulmates, improve their relationships and become happier in love.
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