10 Reasons Why Long Distance Relationships Don't Work!
Long distance relationships are hard. They require immense dedication, unquestionable passion and loyalty. Dealing with long distance relationship problems requires active involvement and if either of the partners is passive, chances are, it's a lost cause. What makes long distance relationships so difficult and prone to fail? Why do people call it quits in a long distance relationship? What are the problems with long distance relationships?
Here is why long distance relationships don't work in most cases and aren't meant to last:
1. Distractions in a world of choices
As much as technology has brought us closer, it has also opened up a world full of choices and possibilities. With easy access to people around us and also far off, people are prone to falling prey to temptations, especially when the romantic partner is far away and one among the two or both consider cheating or micro cheating “no big deal” as long as it stays a secret forever. Technology though an enabler and medium of connecting hearts far away from each other ironically widens the distance between them.
2. The future is uncertain
Couples in a long distance relationship find it a challenge to chalk out a concrete future as time progresses and they find different goals and interests on their journey. When none can guarantee the possibility of moving in together or being closer in the same city, the attraction fades faster. Amidst such insecurities and difficulty of finding a common solution that serves the best interests of both people drift apart despite the best intentions.
3. Lack of sexual intimacy
Close proximity to your partner allows you to share a deeper chemistry and sex keeps the passion alive and needs satisfied. While there is no guarantee of sexual fulfillment when couples stay together, it's quite obvious for people to derive satisfaction in a relationship where love making is a part of the relationship. Sex is a basic need just like other physiological needs like food, water, hygiene and shelter. Virtual relationships end up making couples feel frustrated causing them to call it quits and move on with life.
4. Miscommunication causes confusion
As you are unable to see and perceive your partner's facial expressions, more often than not, misunderstandings eat away the fabric of the relationship. Couples in long distance also avoid confronting each other and start bottling up emotions in order to maintain their sanity and peace in the relationship. Miscommunication would lead to arguments and those who bicker, criticize, nag and complain will have a hard time making the long distance relationship survive.
5. Lack of physical proximity
When all your sense organs are involved, you are more likely to feel deeply drawn, invested and hooked on to your partner. If your senses aren't engaged, you wouldn't feel the excitement and passion for too long. Such relationships are bound to crumble and doomed to fail. This disconnection can cause even the most dedicated and enthusiastic lovers to slack. In short, a short term break or move could be a great idea to test the strength of your relationship but a long distance relationship without a plan may end on a hurtful note.
6. Huge financial costs
The financial burden of meeting your long distance partner can be pretty much demotivating in the long run. It's a great pocket pinch to manage an extra fund flow for those struggling with monetary issues already. It's easier for someone affluent to plan surprise meets at a far flung location. For someone with humble means of livelihood, it's a major sacrifice or little need to save some money to get to meet a lover living at a distant place.
7. Insecurities build up over time
Absence causes fear of abandonment. When your partner is far away, negative emotions like jealousy, frustration, loss of motivation or over possessive tendencies might start making your relationship weak. You might also start being taken for granted or vice versa. Blame game is a common scenario and misunderstandings might complicate the bond further.
8. It can never feel real
There is a lack of fulfillment in long distance relationships. The virtual setup seems fake and dissatisfactory. It's normal to feel helpless at times. It's an everyday affair to feel off in a long distance relationship, it does try and test you and breaks your morale. Occasional moments of doubts and natural change are hard to ignore. If problems aren't fixed right in the beginning, it could get messy. You might start comparing your relationship with those who are in close proximity to their partners and lose heart when you are separated for reasons beyond your control.
9. It demands efforts
Nothing kills a long distance relationship faster than lack of effort, investment of time and energy of both partners. Long distance can be a good excuse to break up when lovers don't feel the passion or one person is too busy or unavailable in the relationship. Talking everyday or even video calling might seem like a chore and romance cannot be forced. How much space is too much space is hard to decipher in a long distance relationship.
10. Career concerns
Adult life comes with responsibilities, the priority being career concerns. When good opportunities come your way, one could feel too stupid to let it go for the sake of a long distance relationship. If you lose your interests, individuality and dreams to make your partner happy, you will eventually lose interest because nothing triumphs over your happiness. A good economic opportunity could push people further away and therefore, dragging a long distance (that's almost dead) is a self-destructive move.
I have spent over 15 years helping men and women find their soulmates, improve their relationships and become happier in love.
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